Gordian Knot
by Child of Loki
Summary: When had Nell Jones become one of /those/ girls? The young intelligence analyst's life becomes a twisted mess as she struggles to juggle an adoring best friend, a secret lover and a sweet-tempered new boyfriend. But will she discover the solution before it's too late? Sequel to 'Fun Size.' SMUT
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**NCIS: LA **_**or its characters…**

**Author's Note: This is a sequel to **_**Fun Size,**_** but you don't have to have read that one (it just tells in greater detail the origins of this particular Callen/Nell relationship). It is a smutty romp, if you are interested, however, as is this one! **

**Starting off with a bang! Okay, I promise there will be some sort of plot included… but, WARNING: CONTAINS SCENES OF MATURE SUBJECT MATTER  
**

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Sinking her hips slowly downward, Nell Jones settled in, languidly wiggling her bottom as she attempted to relax and allow her inner muscles to stretch. It was always like this. She always needed a moment to adjust, to let her body relent and accept. She sighed contentedly as G Callen's strong hands gripped her waist. The two of them, they fit together exquisitely... so, so deliciously snugly. Months and months of being with him, and yet there still was a thrilling novelty to taking him inside of her. Every time. Even though they'd had sex in this position before, several times, it felt like an entirely new experience, for she well knew the unique nature of sharing intimacies with the man. There was no one more wonderfully unpredictable and lasciviously creative than G Callen.

And so she shouldn't have been surprised when he didn't react the way she'd expected. She'd begun to shift her weight, to pull her legs up under her for leverage. The very first time she'd reversed straddled his lap, it had taken several awkward and frustrated moments for them to figure out that she was too short to place her feet on the floor, and had to instead lock them around the chair legs and place her toes on the rungs to assist her movement atop him. The sofa was slightly different, but she could shift onto her knees and get a pretty good bouncing motion going. Except, apparently that wasn't what G wanted, for his hands didn't slip down to guide her hips, but rather caressed her belly before one hand snaked downward, fingers burying themselves in the thatch of auburn curls covering her pubic bone, while the other trailed upwards between her breasts to grasp her throat softly, his forearm lying along her sternum. And then he was coaxing her backward, until she was leaning against him as he reclined, sitting on the sofa, the new angle of penetration rendering her breathless as her body readjusted.

"Comfortable?" he asked, his voice low, nearly a growl in her ear.

"Mm..."

His fingers journeyed southward as he began to thrust his hips in a slow, steady rhythm, kissing her neck and moving his other hand from her throat to gently massage her breasts. They'd gotten naked in the preceding hour or so of making out and foreplay and she loved the feel of his bare skin against hers, well-formed muscles beneath her thighs, warm and solid torso against her back, his hot breath on her neck, his strong hands stirring her higher and higher. It was a relaxed pace and a slow build as he touched her, kissing her neck, his stubble scratching her skin in a familiar and pleasant way. He continued to build the arousal in her for... she couldn't say how long, until suddenly she realized she was teetering on the edge of what promised to be a spectacular orgasm. Only the movement of his hips had remained at the slow, steady rhythm he'd set in the beginning. His fingers had pressed harder against the sensitive nerves between her thighs, rubbing her in a progressively quickening fashion that had the warmth blossoming within her in waves. Likewise, he'd begun to play with her nipples, pinching and tugging at the stiff buds of flesh, rather than the gentle fondling of her breasts he'd begun with. And the attention of his mouth to her neck had become quite fierce, his teeth nipping at her skin.

The intensity of his attention was always overwhelming, but generally limited to just one or two primary sources. His mouth or his hands. His cock, hard and hot inside of her, generating devastating friction as they moved together. But this time. This time he was drowning her in a sensory onslaught that her brain couldn't quite cope with. Little jolts of pleasure, heat, and pain shot through her nervous system simultaneously, colliding and magnifying in intensity. She was consumed by more sensation than she'd ever experienced before, even in the throes of a mind-blowing orgasm at this very man's hands. And yet she was only there, on the edge of the climax she felt threatening like a dam about to burst.

The doorbell rang.

Nell groaned in frustration, but G Callen did not loosen his hold upon her. Rather, he tightened it, intensified it.

"Leave it," he growled into her ear, his own fierce arousal blatant in the gravel in his voice. He stroked her more fervently with the calloused fingers of one hand, those of the other pinching her left nipple agonizingly hard, his hips still thrusting into her in that slow pace, as steady as a well-oiled piston.

"I love it when you come for me, Nell." Oh, fuck! She'd never told him how the sound of his voice alone could push her over the edge. She never would. But maybe he knew already, because... "Come for me, Nell."

Her body spasmed, every last muscle tensing as her nervous system exploded. And she screamed. His deft hands worked her harder, driving her further into the orgasm that had her seeing stars and believing she would die of an aneurysm or some such and not caring. She clutched at his forearms, her fingers digging into his flesh, as she writhed about in his lap, crying out her ecstasy for the world to hear until finally, finally, he relented, and her muscles released and she melted against him. The same steady motion of his hips relaxed her as she came down from the orgasmic high no person ever had the right to experience. It was pure rapture. And as the buzzing in her ears slowly diminished, and her lungs no longer burned for oxygen she could not supply fast enough, she recognized with an inward curse that her lover was still as hard as ever, buried inside of her. He had not climaxed with her, intended to do much more to her, and-

A rapping sound echoed through her apartment. Someone was now at her front door.

"You're not home," he said quietly, the rare edge of frustration in his voice as he refused to release his hold on her.

"No. I'm not." She agreed with a moan, even knowing in the back of her mind that she'd been quite vocal as she reached orgasm and it was probably likely whomever it was at the door knew her apartment was not currently vacant.

"Nell?"

It was Eric's voice calling from behind her apartment door. And that settled that. She was most definitely not answering it. Because, for one, he didn't know she'd been fucking G Callen on an almost daily basis for the past eight months. And secondly, she was still a little bit angry with him.

"I want you on your back," Callen said, ignoring the rapping and inquiring calls at her door. She wasn't sure how urgent the proclaimed desire was, however, since he continued to keep a firm grip on her, thrusting slowly into her without sign of stopping even to reposition their bodies.

"Nell? Are you home? C'mon."

Ugh! Didn't her friend/coworker/partner/whatever know when to step back and give her space? She wasn't so sure he wouldn't bang down the door if-

"Shit!" She straightened making Callen grunt with the movement of her bottom in his lap. "Eric has a key. I don't think he would. But... let go!"

Callen's hands finally released their grasp on her and she jumped out of his lap.

"Get up! C'mon!" She gathered up his jeans and shirt and threw them at him, before shoving at him and hurrying him towards her bedroom, feeling a little bad that he was still clearly fully aroused. When they reached her bedroom, she grabbed the first clothing items she saw, her workout clothes draped over the back of a chair to air out. Well, just the bike-shorts and tank. The sports bra had gone directly into the dirty clothes, along with her underwear. She hastily pulled them on, frowned at Callen, who had decided to lounge naked on her bed, his unsated cock still hopefully erect.

"Uh... I can probably take care of you real quick first." She thought it a good offer, and feasible, even though she'd never tried to do anything of the sort in less than a minute. But he had to be on the fricken edge already, unless he no longer found her screaming, writhing, orgasming body erotic.

"That's okay, Nell," he said. "But you _owe_ me."

She shuddered, her body contemplating the meaning of the words that her mind didn't even have a chance to consider.

"I'll be right back," she said, bolting for the front door. Eric gave her a perplexed look when she opened it, in her breathless and sweaty state.

"Um... Hi, Eric. What's up?" She tried to seem nonchalant, even though she knew she must reek of sex, and look quite the flustered mess.

"I was headed to The Lair and thought you might want to come with, since that used book shop you like is right next door." He didn't look directly at her, and she couldn't quite blame him. But where he was headed this Saturday morning was in the opposite direction from her place. He'd gone out of his way, obviously in an attempt to make amends for their argument yesterday. Nell herself had reacted by pushing it out of her mind, making plans to spend the weekend with Callen... in bed (and out of it, but without leaving her place). Except, she hadn't expected this. And despite a killer jealous streak, which had reared its ugly head when she'd revealed that she'd been dating this very sweet and fun guy, Roger, she'd met a few months ago and it seemed to be getting serious and she'd wanted to share it with him, Eric Beale _was _her best friend.

Oh, god. When had she become one of _those_ girls? She had a somewhat secret casual sex arrangement with one very attractive, oh-so-good-in-bed man. Another, her best friend and closest coworker, had a huge awkward crush on her. And she'd started dating a nice guy that might be someone she could have a serious future with... She was like a fucking 'it' girl from a 1990s sitcom. She needed to fix this. At least, make things right with her friend.

"Um... okay," she said, nodding. "Okay. We can stop for coffee, too."

Eric smiled, reassured by her much more friendly demeanor (compared to the previous day, when she'd simply refused to talk to him after he'd gotten all snippy and sulky). Before she could think better of it, she stepped back and invited him into her apartment. It would be rude not to, and Callen was... oh, shit, she could hear her shower running.

"I was just about to grab a shower," Nell said, hoping it might be a good enough cover. "I can meet-"

"I can wait," Eric said.

_Damn. _Nell turned and led him through the living space, trying to pretend everything was normal, that the throw pillows hadn't been thrown across the small space, that the sofa cushions weren't askew, that the coffee table hadn't been pushed against the wall to make room for some fooling about on the floor... Oh, kitchen space! Thank god! She invited Eric to sit, and went to pour him a cup of coffee, and _shit! _that was most definitely _not_ a dishrag hanging off from that cupboard knob. She peeked over her shoulder to check that Eric was looking away, studying her unkempt apartment, and quickly yanked down the lace panties she'd been wearing last night, stuffing them into her bike shorts.

"Here," she said, giving Eric a falsely happy smile along with the mug of coffee. "I'll be quick, I promise."

"You'd better hurry," he said. "There might not be any hot water left, since you left the shower running."

"Right!" Nell used the excuse to sprint through her bedroom into the en suite. The small bathroom was filled with a fog of steam, but she could see the shape of the naked man through the frosted glass of the tub door. The bastard! She stripped off the tank and shorts throwing them into the corner before sliding one side of the glass open and hopping into the shower with the very naked, very wet G Callen.

"You're trying to get me caught," she whispered angrily.

"What?" he asked, his back to her while he scrubbed at his face. Probably not the best way to resolve her anxiety at having her secret lover naked in her shower and her best friend sitting in her kitchen drinking coffee... but she reached down and around Callen, and grabbed him by the balls. He grunted. She squeezed.

"Hey, Nell!" He grabbed her wrist, and turned around to glare down at her. She glared back up at him.

"What do you think you're doing?" She asked again, wondering at where he'd moved her hand and what precisely was brushing against it. Oh. She looked down and then back up to his blue eyes... his _playful_ blue eyes.

"Taking a shower... You left me hanging."

"I see it's not doing you any good," Nell said, as he released her wrist and she gently curled her fingers around him.

"It's about to," he said, grabbing her by the waist, lifting her, and putting her back to the shower wall. He began kissing her neck, as her legs wrapped about his waist, and he thrust into her, hard and hot and slippery from the water. She groaned as he began to pound her with a much more fervent rhythm than he'd been penetrating her with upon the sofa earlier.

This was such a bad, bad, _bad_ idea... because... because...

Oh! Oh, it just wasn't right. Nothing should feel this insanely good! Oh, fuck, how was he able to- She remembered the houseguest sitting in her kitchen just in time to stifle her outcry by biting down on Callen's naked, shoulder as the orgasm hit her head-on. Her very exuberant and talented -_god, so talented_\- lover, however, groaned loudly as he came inside of her. The warm fluid rush of his release within her was an intriguing complement to the warm, wet rush of water flowing over her skin, stimulating nerves buried deep inside of her and close to the surface alike.

Their little arrangement was such a brilliant one, she had to admit, as he slowly pulled out of her and set her back on her feet, the coital after glow humming in her blood. After about several months of hooking up, they'd decided to just admit that for the time being, they neither of them would have another sexual partner for probably a good long time, and sort of committed to one another, if you could call it that. They'd gotten tested for STDs, just to be sure. Then she went on the pill. And making sure they always had condoms was no longer a concern for their sometimes spontaneous romps. The agreement was that it was no problem if either of them met someone else. They simply had to inform the other person that their casual sex arrangement was over. And that would be it. No hard feelings. It was only sex. Well, more like friends with benefits, since they did tend to spend the entire night with another, including dinner, conversation and cuddling. But no strings. And an easy out. She hadn't told him about Roger Mathias yet. But she hadn't done anything with Roger, besides the odd kiss here and there. And she wasn't ready to, yet. And until she was really interested in this guy, she was delighted to keep hooking up with Callen. But she _had _told Eric about the man she'd been dating... so maybe things were getting more serious than she'd thought.

Ugh! Why was she thinking about this while naked in the shower with the best lover she'd ever had (and certainly ever would have), who'd started shampooing her hair for her. And that felt rather nice, too.

Nell let G wash her, because she just adored the feel of his hands on her body. It was mesmerizing, and the tension that still remained after that _mm_... delicious orgasm, ebbed entirely from her.

"Thanks," she said, and with a quick peck on his lips, hopped out of the shower. He emerged right behind her and she tossed him a towel as she hastily warned him to be quiet. "Eric's waiting on me. I told him I'd go to The Lair with him." Callen gave her a blank look. "It's a gamer's store." Still blank. "They sell video games."

Callen nodded.

"I'm sorry. I know we were planning to spend the whole weekend together..."

Her slighted lover (well, slighted for the day, anyway) held up a hand and smiled.

"Nell, don't worry about it. Go. Fix things with Eric."

"How'd you know...?" She trailed off. Of course he knew she'd been having problems with Eric. With Callen, she rarely had to outright explain herself for him to be aware of her emotional state and personal feelings that she thought she'd kept pretty well wrapped up. She reached up and pulled him down for another quick kiss. "Thanks. I'll call you when I get home, if you think you might want to..."

"Oh, you had better call," he said with a wink. She'd remind him that he was more than welcome to hang out at her place until she got back, but she knew he was already aware of the open invitation he possessed on her home, and that he tended to come and go at will, like a semi-domesticated tom cat. Which was fine by her, for the affection she received when he was around was well worth it.

He pulled her in for one more kiss, his hand giving her buttocks a quick squeeze before he released her with a 'have fun.' She dressed quickly, fetched Eric from her kitchen and hurried him out of the apartment with as much haste as possible, like the twenty or so minutes he'd been sitting in her kitchenette hadn't been long enough already for him to realize what had been going down in the untidy living space... and the bathroom while he'd waited.

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**A/N: Well, that escalated quickly… (And out of character, but I just have to play sometimes!)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: I've decided to ignore the canon for the moment, since it's been pissing me off, in particular the lack of Nell Jones content… so returned to this rather out of character piece, just for funzies.**

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"So... um... how did you explain running out on Roger like that this morning?" Eric asked while studying his extremely frappy frappuccino.

"What?" Nell was genuinely confused over what her so-called friend was on about now. Things had been strained while they perused the video game store, but they'd been gradually easing as they discussed their common interests and fell into the old rhythm of their friendship. They'd decided to take their coffee break before hitting the used book store, and he'd been silent since they'd sat down with their drinks five minutes ago.

"You don't have to pretend, Nell." He glanced up at her, his green eyes sharp and startling her with their intensity. Eric rarely looked her in the eye. Although he did tend to _stare_ at her much more than she felt was comfortable. "I know Roger was at your place with you this morning. I heard...um... Never mind."

Shit. She had been loud. But it most definitely wasn't Roger who'd been... well, _rogering_ her. Although, maybe it was better if Eric just thought that it was the man she'd been going out with about once a week who'd she'd had in her home, who'd fucked her in the shower while her friend waited in the kitchen. God, she was such a _horrible_ person! Why did she have no self control with that goddamn man who knew how to touch her _just so _to make her forget the rest of the world and all of her troubles.

"I'm sorry, Eric." She reached for his hand, half expecting him to pull it out of her grasp, but he let her take it. He looked at her with such earnest affection and heartache... she just couldn't lie to him anymore. "I should've told you..."

Could she really? It wasn't just her secret, after all. But would G even care...? No. No, he wouldn't, would he? He was a rule breaker. And most definitely not an apologist for who he was, what he chose to do, or who he included in his life. She took a swallow of her black coffee, wetting her mouth that had gone suddenly dry. Callen wasn't apologetic or embarrassed by his choices, why should she be? Except she'd already apologized to Eric for not telling him the truth. And she _was_ quite ashamed of how her situation sounded when summarized. Juggling three men; a friend, a lover, and a potential boyfriend.

"That wasn't Roger."

Eric's eyes widened and then his brow furrowed in confusion. "Then... you weren't, um, with someone...?"

"I was. But it wasn't Roger." She inhaled sharply and let the words out quickly with her breath. "It was Callen."

It'd been a while since she'd witnessed such a thing, to the point where she thought it might actually only be something that happened in cartoons and movies, novels and manga, but Eric Beale's jaw literally dropped. She decided that the only thing she could do was ignore his outlandish reaction and press onward with the truth.

"We've been sleeping together for... Eight months, two weeks and...uh... three days." Eric had closed his mouth but still appeared to be suffering some significant shock, so Nell continued, hoping he'd snap out of it before she had to reveal intimate details to fill the silence. "It's not a romantic relationship or anything. Just casual sex. Very straightforward. Either of us can pull the plug just like that, and no hard feelings. Actually, maybe..."

"But you- you..." Oh, there. His brain had finally unfrozen, somewhat anyway. "You said you've been dating this guy, Roger? Was that just a cover for your... um... uh..."

"Fling with Callen?" Now Nell felt her cheeks beginning to redden. "No. I met Roger a couple months ago, just like I told you."

"But you're still... hooking up with Callen? I can't believe that you two... For the better part of a year?!"

"You don't think I know how this sounds?" Her outburst could've been perceived as defensive, angry, but by the anguished, slightly pitying look on Eric's face she knew he recognized the shame for it what it was. "Sometimes, life just gets messy, Eric. You know what I mean? And I'm stupid when it comes to interpersonal relationships. Like, seriously dysfunctional. I'm not sure how I got into this whole tangled knot. There was this tension between Callen and I, and we thought, why not see what that's about? And it was good, is good, but it's not forever. It's not what I want for the rest of my life. And it's all he wants. So I met Roger, and everything just seemed right... felt right... And..."

Nell closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She opened them, looked Eric square in the eye, looked at the reflection of herself in his eyes. Sadly, she knew it was a better reflection than she deserved. And not because she'd started dating one man while sleeping with another. Neither relationship was anywhere near the point where it could be considered a betrayal. But soon, if things got any more serious with Roger, decisions would have to be made. But that wasn't what truly made her a horrible person. How she'd been dealing with Eric Beale, how she'd always dealt with him... it wasn't right of her. But she didn't know how... How could she make him stop being smitten with her? She wanted to be his friend, so she couldn't shut him out. But shouldn't he have realized by now, that it was never going to happen. That she didn't _feel _that way about him, and never would? All she seemed to do was hurt him, and he still thought the fucking world of her.

"What am I going to do?" she asked quietly.

"That's up to you to figure out, Nell." He took her hand again and squeezed it, giving her a reassuring smile.

She wanted to bang her head on the coffee table.

...

As Nell approached her apartment door, the queasiness increased exponentially, her stomach twisted in knots over the decision she'd made, that Eric had unintentionally pushed her into finally making. And it made her sick. She really liked the blue-eyed agent, and she didn't want to hurt him. But, it had been his rules they were following, anyway, his decision that it was only to be a casual association, no serious attachment, no obligations, no hurt feelings. She knew going in that she would become attached to G Callen, maybe even fall in love with him a little, but that it would end, and sooner rather than later. And he was a big boy. He knew it would end, too. Honestly, she always thought he would grow bored of her before she found a reason why they couldn't continue on as they'd been.

Would he still be hanging out in her apartment, waiting for her to return so they could spend the rest of a lazy Saturday together, cuddling up with a movie or some books, preparing a delicious dinner together (well, she did the cooking, really, he just followed her directions), maybe having a couple drinks, make-out a little, or a lot. Have amazing, addictingly satisfying sex...

Oh, help her, how she just wanted that, only that. She set her jaw, ordered herself to follow-through, to not become weak-willed and weak-kneed when she met that facetious blue gaze of his, when he kissed her.

"You still here, G?" she asked after she shut the door behind her, set her bag down and turned to relock the deadbolt.

Suddenly, there were arms wrapping around her, and she would've freaked out entirely if they weren't so intimately familiar to her, if she hadn't spent countless hours encompassed by them. Kisses shortly followed, on her neck, just below her left ear, the spot that made her reflexively coo as goose bumps broke out over her skin.

"Have fun with Eric?" G Callen asked, sounding only somewhat interested in her answer. It was more than obvious where his real interest lay.

"What would you do if I said 'no'?" she asked, turning in his embrace to face him. He gave her a briefly puzzled look, likely noting the anxiety she couldn't squash.

"I'd ask you to tell me about it," he said, his gaze exploring her face, obviously trying to read her mood, discover the source of the nerves forming a tight knot in the pit of her stomach, which she was trying to ignore as much as hide. "And then maybe I'd have to have a _talk_ with Eric..."

His tone implied extreme intimidation tactics might be used in such a case, which made her smile wanly, because G Callen was a very good friend to her, and not just a casual sex partner. She hoped he would still remain so.

"And then I'd try to cheer you up." His look turned instantly lewd, in that changeable way of his. She didn't think that it represented a mercurial personality as much as the man's ability to hide his true feelings until he wished to reveal them.

Before she could stop him, he pulled her into a kiss, and she both reveled in it and lamented it, thinking that it potentially could be the last.

"Did it work?" he asked with a grin after the kiss ended, and then frowned as her expression turned somber once more. "Or do you need to talk about it still?"

"We need to talk," she said, somehow forcing her voice around the knot in her throat. Now he was really frowning, concern wrinkling his brow as she took his hand and led him back to the sofa. He'd done a good job neatening up the living room, straightening up the cushions and furniture that had been thrown askew, recovering her discarded garments and doubtless putting them in her hamper (he knew where it resided, for he knew every inch of her home, as well as her body).

She licked her lips, chewed the inside of her cheek as they sat in tense silence for a minute. Patient. The man was _so_ unbelievably patient. He just sat beside her, turned toward her slightly, paying her his rapt attention, placing a hand lightly on her knee.

He deserved her honesty.

"I'vemetsomeone," she said, the words escaping her mouth so quickly they blended together. Part of her, most of her, didn't want to do it, but she simply had to know what his reaction was, and so she forced herself to look him in the eye.

He had that amused look he often donned, his lips curling slightly in a smile, an eyebrow raised, his blue eyes bright. Yet, she couldn't be sure if it wasn't just a face he'd manicured over the years to disguise his true feelings.

"Really? That's great, Nell."

Was it? Did he really think so...? She stared at him inexcusably fiercely, trying to find a crack that would prove his reaction a facade. But who was she kidding? Just herself. _Easy come, easy go_. That was G Callen's romantic philosophy, wasn't it?

"Is it serious?" he asked, precisely following the 'good friend' handbook.

"Not quite yet," she said, noticing that his hand was still possessively placed on her knee.

"But it's going to be," he said, his tone faltering for a moment, more resignation than nonchalance. And then his demeanor turned cheerful.

"I'm happy for you, Nell."

_Are you, really, G Callen? _She tried not to think of him alone every night, just because she'd run into some guy at the coffee shop and thought he might be eventual husband material. The loner obviously didn't mind spending most of his time on his own, but even he needed companionship once in a while. And she just didn't mean the sex. Doubtless, the charming man could pick up basically any woman he wanted. She meant the nights they spent cuddling, or sharing meals and stories of their past, or planning ways to prank Deeks. Companionship is what she worried she would be taking away from the man.

"But I'll need a name and address."

"What?" she said, snapping out of her morose reverie.

"So I can check him out," Callen said, only half joking, and then not joking at all when he reached out and cupped her face with his free hand. "And warn him that if he does anything to hurt you, they'll be finding pieces of him spread across Southern California for decades to come."

She smiled, despite the gruesome threat, because Callen really did care about her, more than just the pleasure she could give him.

"I appreciate the concern, G," she said, placing her hand over his, not to remove it, but to hold it there. "But I can handle myself."

"Oh, I know." He smiled, his eyes darkening as he looked at her with an intensity she would miss horribly. But it was for the best. Yes, the best for _her_. Maybe it was selfish, but she wasn't conceited enough to think she could make the lone wolf change for her. So, this thing between them needed to end. It was fun. But it was ending.

"Do I get a request?" he asked, and when she gave him a puzzled look. "A parting gift, as it were?"

She tried to get a read on him, but as often was the case, especially tonight, when her own emotions were overwhelming her thoughts, she found herself incapable of understanding the man she sometimes seemed to know so well that he was just an extension of her.

"I don't see why not," she said. He stared into her with those damned beautiful blue eyes of his, capturing not only her full attention, but what felt like a bit of her soul.

"One more night, Nell Jones. I just want one more night with you."

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**A/N: Apologies. I know you came here, to read the update, for the smut. But it can't ALL be smut. Believe it or not, there was always an actual story in mind for this fic. (As well as more smut.)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Noticed that this scene is similar to some other smut I've recently written, so if you follow my other stories, it might be repetitive (hopefully not too badly)/seem familiar. But I'd written this bit a long, long time ago and I like it too much to change it very much.**

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Callen gently extricated one of Nell's small hands from the back of his neck, placing it on the mattress beside her head, running the tips of his fingers over the soft flesh of her palm before pressing his own palm to hers, feeling the delicate metacarpals and tendons shift beneath the skin as her slender fingers intertwined with his larger, rougher digits. He gave the same treatment to the other, feeling the warmth of her normally cool hands buzz in the sensitive nerves of finger and palm. The connection he felt to the young woman through their joined hands was even more profound than the snug, hot hold her body had upon his flesh, buried deep inside of her and pulsing with the beating of his heart. Or the wonderful embrace of her soft thighs and slender but muscular legs wrapped about his waist and backside.

And then he looked into her eyes. It was the greatest intimacy he had ever shared with another human being. He was with her, inside of her, and she was the entirety of his universe. In that moment, there was only them, together. And that was what was so beautiful, so devastatingly amazing about being with Nell Jones. When she was with him, she was capable of possessing such a focused intensity, that everything, every banal little thought and worry he knew normally bounced around that genius brain of hers melted away. And it was them. Just him and her. _Together_.

He simply stared down into her big hazel eyes as they looked up at him, _into_ him, into his very soul. And he felt himself pulled from the perfect moment as he considered that this would be the very last time he was with her, truly with her. It hurt. But it had to be this way. And he would let go, because he had promised her, because she deserved so much more than he could ever give her. Because _love _was about sacrifice. He saw the same realization glitter in her wet eyes.

"G." She gasped his name so quietly it was more silence than speech, her fingers tensing about his before relaxing as he whispered softly to her.

"I know."

He leaned down, gently resting his forehead against hers and closing his eyes, pushing out the pain the knowledge of the future was causing him. There was only this moment. This perfect moment. It was everything he wanted, _needed_. He focused on the presence of Nell lying beneath him, entwined with his body, heart and soul. The warmth of her flesh, the beating of her heart, the blood flowing through her veins, the nerves humming throughout her body and mind. The scent of her skin, scrubbed clean but a few hours ago, lacking any annoying obfuscating perfumes, but rather tinged with a hint of fresh perspiration and the musk of feminine arousal. And the more pungent odor of her recent sexual release. It was a scent that oft stirred him, and just as often calmed him with its promise of a solid few hours of cozying up with the young woman beneath the covers... the greatest peace he'd ever known was lying with Nell Jones in his arms, whispering softly about the trivial, as well as the important, or saying nothing at all. That same sort of peace enveloped him now, and he felt the little niggling hurt withdraw into the background.

He pulled back, opening his eyes to watch her eyelids flutter, and then her gorgeous hazel gaze met his. The peaceful sort of bliss that had washed over him was reflected in her big eyes and she smiled up at him. He leaned down and kissed her languidly, a slow and tender embrace that nonetheless prompted a poignant tug in his groin, a reminder that there was a certain sort of physical intimacy his body was eminently qualified to achieve, and to give.

Rocking his hips slowly, he pulled out of her and then plunged back into the wet, welcoming heat of her body, causing her to gasp slightly. Her thighs trembled against his waist as he felt her purposefully tense her inner muscles about him in invitation, as if the look in her eyes wasn't enough. He thrust in and out of her in a slow, undulating rocking of his hips against hers, only breaking eye contact when he bent his head to claim a kiss, which he soon found himself incapable of doing, the intensity of the encounter building in her eyes, in the heat between their palms, the friction being generated much lower developing into a storm of sensory overload.

When her orgasm took her, her body tensing around him, her lips parting to release a series of sharp cries, he let go and climaxed along with her, thrusting forcefully deep into her as he came completely undone, shattered into a thousand shards. He knew when he picked up the pieces, shoved them back down deep beneath his barriers, he would doubtless leave a few behind, for there were parts of him that now belonged fully to Nell Jones, and he would not even try to reclaim them.

She'd earned them, after all. For if it hadn't been for her, he never would've realized they even existed. He never would've known the peace, the affection, the _happiness _of being intimate with another person, the way he was -_he'd been_\- with Nell, the way she'd become the most vital part of his life. He _loved_ her. He would always love her. And so now, he'd let her go.

He kissed her supple mouth, savoring the velvet softness of her lips, the tangy sweet flavor of her mouth, the way she responded, her tongue finding his, her lips sliding against his, that little nip she gave him when he threatened to end the embrace, how her whole body pressed against his and trembled, her fingers caressing the nape of his neck with just a bite of her fingernails. No one else would ever kiss him like this. For him, there was no one else like her. And she deserved everything he could never give her.

Reluctant yet resolved, Callen pulled away from his beautiful little pixie. She blinked dazedly up at him, her skin flushed so that her freckles stood out white in various patches on her body, her big hazel eyes hazy with contentment and sexual afterglow. It was difficult to leave her when she was looking so _fucking _beautiful, her soft, sated body begging to be held, to hold his, to curl up against him for the rest of the night. But 'just a few minutes' would turn into 'just an hour', and 'just an hour' would turn into 'until morning', 'one more day'... Always 'just one more day.' It had to be now, while he somehow maintained a hold on his unexpectedly roiling emotions.

"I have to go," he said, when she gave him a heartwrenchingly desolate look, her delicate fingers wrapping about his wrist as he extricated himself from her and the bed. But then her mouth set into a firm line and she nodded. He took her hand, brought it to his lips and kissed the soft skin along the back of her knuckles. "I'll see you at work, okay?"

She nodded again, and then rolled onto her side, placing her back to him, and he knew it wasn't because she was angry with him. It was to hide her tears. He swallowed hard, trying to force down the knot in his throat, and then dressed, leaving her with one last wistful glance... to go to his own empty house? No. He needed to go for a walk, a _long_ walk.

He needed to get his head on straight, to come to terms with the unexpected sense of loss that was opening in his chest like a rift transforming into a great chasm.

* * *

**A/N: Both Nell and Callen seem to think it's the best thing for her to move on. Is that really the solution for breaking their hearts over one another? **


End file.
